Wednesday, February 25, 2009

No riding but wonderful news!

I know that this blog started out being solely for all of my adventures on riding my Arctic Cat. Well there is going to be another chapter added to those adventures. And in the long run it will add to my riding.

What is it? OK, I'll tell. I'm having Bariatric Surgery done on Friday March 13, 2009. I'm having the "Lap Band" done. What it is, is a band that goes around the top portion of my stomach to basically form a new much smaller stomach. Don't ask me how it works, I've even asked Dr. Weiss that question. You would think that with that larger portion of the stomach still there that it would feel hunger. But it doesn't! Go figure.

I'm very excited about finally having something done that will help me at last with my weight. The band doesn't do it all on it's own, it's just a tool to help the person reach their goal. It will be with me till I die or decide that I no longer need to have it in place. But honestly, I don't see it ever coming out.

I know that I've shown photos of places and other people here on my blog, but have tried to never show one of myself. There is a reason for that. I'm not comfortable showing the world the "real" me. In my mind I'm not this big, in my mind I can sit where I want and not worry. In my mind I can do things that any "normal" sized person can do. But the hard truth is that the real me can't do a lot of things.

Worst of all is the way that people that don't know me judge me just because of my size. I know that a lot of people don't, and those people are wonderful caring people that mean a lot to me. But it is those people that don't know me and snicker, stare or flat out say things out loud for me to hear that hurt the most.

I'll admit that the childish side of me can't wait till I get to goal. There are a couple people that I will HUNT out so that they can see the "REAL" me. OH I more than likely won't really say or do anything, but in my mind I'll be thinking "Now say again how you want me to get my FAT A$$ out and stay out because I have no business there!" OR What I'll really be thinking is.... "See I can loose the weight but you are unable to grow a working brain that actually makes you an intelligent human."

I started to post a photo of myself, but I don't have the nerve to do it right yet. Maybe this summer after there has been enough weight loss that you can actually tell the difference I might show a "Before and during" photo. We will see.

But for now all I want to say is keep on riding those trails. I'll be back out there soon. I miss it way to much!!!!!!!!!!!!

No comments: